If you are expected to respond immediately in an upsetting situation, try saying something like, “May I have some time to process what you’ve said? I promise to get back to you shortly. "
If confrontation makes you nervous or upset, it’s okay to ask for criticism to be sent to you in writing (as an email or revision request report) so that you can better process the information. Just make sure that you take the time to absorb what is being communicated to you.
For example, if you’ve just given a presentation and your project leader specifically criticizes the way you constructed your conclusion, be sure to write that down so you can avoid the same problem next time.
Make sure to ask questions in a positive and specific way. For example, “When you mentioned that my data tables were too busy, would it be better to separate the information into sub-tables or do I just need to adjust the presentation style, in terms of font type and size? Don’t be afraid to ask for suggestions. You could ask “How can I do this better next time?”
Not only does this show respect and a desire to improve, but it is also gives you time to develop and refine your skills without the pressure of a formal performance or subsequent confrontation about it.
If you assume that people are using their criticism to try to cut you down or make you feel bad, you will emit negative emotions and responses, which is not helpful to them or you. Try to focus on the elements of the criticism that you can learn from and improve on. Don’t worry about the way the person said it or other details that aren’t important.
Consider asking questions like, “How can I make this project even better?” “What can I do better next time?” “Is there anything I can do to improve my performance?” Asking for criticism helps you improve at a faster rate, which means you may be promoted, given a raise, or given more responsibility at a faster rate, too.
To avoid making the same mistakes, always tackle new tasks with old criticism in mind.
If you’re worried you might miss a mistake, ask a coworker to check your work for you.
For example, if your manager is constantly giving you extra work but complaining that you’re late in turning it in, try saying something like, “I’m aware of my late submissions and I am sorry for them, but I have trouble meeting deadlines when I am assigned extra work I don’t always have time to complete. Could we work together to sort this out?”
For example, you could request a meeting with your boss and say, “I’ve mentioned that the reason my work is late is because I am being given extra work on top of my normal assignments. I don’t like disappointing my team, but I can’t turn work in before the deadline if I am not given enough time to complete it. Do you have any suggestions for resolving this issue?”
