Feelings can change quickly based on circumstances and attitudes. All these feelings are perhaps like bubbles in a pond which come and go. You may feel lonely one moment, then realize that you’d rather be by yourself than be with friends, or you may receive a phone call from a friend, relieving loneliness.
Don’t instinctively run from loneliness. Many people choose to distract themselves from loneliness by turning to T. V, work, projects, or other activities to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness. Instead, stay aware of your feelings (and the ways you cope) and determine to honor your body and emotions. Discard ignorance accept that you are lonely and try to find a solution, analyze your own self. [5] X Research source
Use your time to get to know yourself better: start a journal, meditate, and read books that interest you. Sometimes having more alone time is inevitable, such as when moving to a new city or country. Embrace the moments you have to experience solitude, and know that they will not last forever. Cherish the time you have to have a new experience.
Loneliness is not shameful or embarrassing; it is a part of everyone’s life at some point, and there’s no need to feel bad about feeling lonely. Express compassion toward yourself, and express compassion toward other people who may feel lonely around you.
Write down times when you feel lonely. Maybe you feel most lonely during large social events or when you are home alone. Then, consider what might alleviate that loneliness; maybe it would be having a friend go to events with you, or calling over your sister to watch a movie when you feel lonely at home. Come up with realistic solutions that you can enact (don’t make the solution to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to solve all of your loneliness).
Realize that it’s okay to make social mistakes; everybody does! People pay a lot less notice to your mistakes than you realize; most people are too focused on themselves and combatting social fears to notice your insecurities! For more information, read How to Not Be Shy.
Not every rejection you experience reflects a rejection of you as a person. Someone may be distracted or unaware of you reaching out. Remember that you don’t like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you, and that’s okay.
If you’re in a new situation, reach out to someone else and start a conversation. Say “I’ve never been here before, have you? What’s it like?” Either the person can help you or you can find comfort in doing something new together. Remember to communicate openness through body language. By hunching your shoulders, looking down, avoiding eye contact and crossing your body, you appear unapproachable. Smile, keep your posture open (uncross your legs or arms), lean in, and face the person who is speaking. Look for things to affirm in others. Don’t just compliment someone’s appearance (“I like your sweater”), but instead say “You always take the time to put together just the right accessories. " If you know someone well enough, compliment them on their kindness or intelligence. Learn more ways to improve your social skills more by checking out How to Improve Social Skills.
Non-verbally communicate your listening skills by nodding your head, making eye contact, and giving small feedback like saying, “I see,” or, “uh huh. ”[14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source For more tips on how to build listening skills, check out How to Be a Good Listener.
Meet people by volunteering. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal sanctuary or an animal shelter. You’re bound to meet other people who love animals and you have something immediately connecting you. Find common interest groups in your community. If you are interested in knitting, chances are there are people around you that also share that interest. Do a little internet research and find a group that you can join. [16] X Expert Source Donna Novak, Psy. DLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 8 December 2020. Want more information on how to make friends? Check out How to Make Friends.
Be genuine. if you cannot “be yourself’ around your friends, chances are they are not your friends. Friends will appreciate you for you, quirks and all. If you struggle to connect with one person or feel like you are trying too hard, move on and make a new friend. Practice being the friend you want to have. Think about the qualities you want in a friend, and do those things for the people in your life.
Go to the local animal shelter and help to socialize a dog or cat that has lost their family and is alone. If you are able, you may wish to adopt a dog. Of course, adopting a dog is a big responsibility. Make sure you can adjust your schedule around a new pet in order to give your pet a loving and fulfilling life.
For more information, check out How to Choose a Therapist.
