For example, you may want to learn how to cook. Starting out, say to yourself “I’m new at this cooking stuff and I’ll probably make mistakes. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process. ” Sometimes, the fear of making mistakes—perfectionism—can keep you from trying new things or completing projects because you’re so afraid of not doing well that you can’t bring yourself to act. Don’t let this happen to you.
For example, perhaps you drive the same way to work every day, 5 days a week. On the weekend, you are supposed to drive your kid to soccer practice, but you realize you’ve gone on “autopilot” and have started driving to work instead. This is a natural mistake, the result of habit. Beating yourself up for this mistake is unhelpful. Instead, acknowledge your slip-up and move on. Studies suggest that you may be able to compensate for mistakes made on autopilot, even when you aren’t aware of them consciously. Studies conducted with skilled typists suggest that you slow down when you make a mistake typing, even if you are not consciously aware of doing so. [2] X Research source Studies also suggest that about 47% of the time, people are “checked out”, or allowing their minds to wander from the task at hand. This is often when mistakes happen. If you find that you’re frequently making mistakes due to “mind wandering,” consider trying some mindfulness exercises to bring your attention back to the present moment. [3] X Research source
Errors of omission can still have an effect on your life, however. For example, if your company does not keep up with the latest developments in technology, it could impact your financial future. It’s important to acknowledge both types of mistakes, because you can learn from both of them. Some people try to avoid errors of commission by doing as little as possible and taking no responsibility, but this doesn’t keep you from errors of omission, and it’s also not a very helpful way to live or grow.
You may be new to cooking, but perhaps there’s something that clicks instantly with you. Maybe you can tell just what spice a recipe needs simply by tasting. Give yourself credit for these strengths.
Research even suggests that some experts, like doctors, can fail to correct mistakes because they trust their own judgment too much. There are benefits to being open to mistakes and viewing them as an opportunity, even after you’ve become really good at something. [8] X Research source
For example, with cooking, approach recipes with an experimental attitude. Avoid expecting the perfect dish. Instead, see it as an opportunity to experiment and learn more about the whole cooking process. This will help you avoid judging yourself for messing up, which you undoubtedly will at some point.
Your brain has essentially two responses to mistakes: problem-solving mode (“Why did this happen? How can I make it not happen again?”) and shut-down mode (“I’m going to ignore this mistake”). The problem-solving mode, unsurprisingly, helps you learn from your mistakes and correct them in the future. It is commonly seen in people who believe intelligence is flexible, and that everyone is capable of development. The shut-down mode is often seen when you believe that your intelligence is “fixed”: you’re either good or bad at something, and that’s that. This type of thinking keeps you from learning and growing. [13] X Research source
Remind yourself that the belief that you must never make a mistake is flawed. Mistakes are the only way we learn; if you don’t make (many) mistakes, it’s because you already know something inside out and backwards. If you want to learn and grow, mistakes are part of the package. Remind yourself that perfectionism holds you and others to unreasonable standards. Making a mistake does not make you “a failure” or negate your efforts. Relax your standards to allow room for mistakes—it’s a more helpful, more effective way to pursue excellence. [15] X Research source
For example, if you’re working on a new recipe and things keep going poorly, make a note of where you’re messing up. Think about it later that evening and see if you can come up with ways to prepare the dish differently. You should also keep track of your successes. You will be more motivated to continue learning despite making mistakes if you can track your progress over time and celebrate what you’re good at. A solely negative focus is unhelpful.
For example, focus on the “get-better” goal of learning how different spices affect the taste of food, rather than the “be-good” goal of being a master chef right off the bat.
For example, if you’re trying to perfect a basic cooking skill like boiling pasta, do it over and over until you get the timing right. It may take a while to get the desired softness of the pasta, but the more you practice, the closer you will get.
For example, ask a chef at your favorite restaurant or a family member with a lot of cooking experience if you are having trouble with a cooking basic.
After a mistake such as burning a dish, tell yourself “I can learn from this. It’s possible to use this experience. Now I know to use a lower oven temperature. ”
Being late to events because of not getting up early enough. Getting written up for messing up a project because you didn’t ask for clarification. Failing a test because you neglected to study, or didn’t prioritize your studying well.
