Every person has a unique body, which means you’ll need to experiment and find out what gives you pleasure. [3] X Research source Kate, H. (2013). Positive Psychology And The Body: The Somatopsychic Side To Flourishing: The somatopsychic side to flourishing. McGraw-Hill Education (UK). Research suggests that less than half of Americans describe themselves as particularly happy with their present conditions, partly because they’re not entirely certain about what actually makes them happy. Start off simply by thinking back on all of the times you would describe as happy.
If you aren’t sure what activities your body is naturally suited for, spend some time experimenting with ones you’d never imagine yourself to be interested in. Take a class in yoga or pottery. Attend an improvisational performance meeting. Just like Spinoza said, there’s no way to know what your body can do until you do it.
For example, you may currently be unhappy with your thighs—perhaps you think they are chubby or scrawny—but try to put a positive spin on this. You may wish you had slightly thinner thighs, but they do an excellent job propelling you up hills. Or, you may think your legs are spindly, but you are among the few that can really pull off wearing skinny-jeans.
Don’t put yourself on a diet, unless your doctor has advised it. Learn to listen to your body and eat a comfortable amount. Don’t deny yourself food or beat yourself up about how much you eat. [5] X Research source
Consider keeping a tally in a journal, note-pad, or on your phone for this task. Carry a notebook with you when possible and quickly jot down each negative thought that comes up. Include whether or not the negative thought was related to the way you might have looked. At the end of the day, you will likely be amazed at how much more negative you are throughout at single day than you realized.
Try starting each day by thinking a few positive thoughts. Remind yourself of these thoughts throughout the day when you start feeling critical of yourself. For example, you might say, “I really like the way this new haircut makes me feel. "
Psychologists are worried that with this trend’s increase over the last 20 years, such images are creating unrealistic ideals regarding what a body should look like. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by these empty caricatures with no reference in the real world.
Psychologists believe that, in many cases, if you have an unrealistic expectation of how you should look, you’ll have a distorted body image. It’s important to notice when these unrealistic expectations show up in your thought processes, so that you can hopefully challenge these ideals with concrete information. [11] X Research source Veale, D. , Gournay, K. , Dryden, W. , Boocock, A. , Shah, F. , Willson, R. , & Walburn, J. , (1996). Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A Cognitive Behavioural Model and Pilot Randomized Controlled Trial. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 34, 717-729
Keep in mind that you probably won’t be able to cut out your close friends and family in the same way that you can stop buying Vogue or watching America’s Next Top Model. Even so, if they body-shame you or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to have a respectful, yet firm discussion with them about how their words or behaviors hurt you.
Brain research suggests that who people love is highly influenced by their brain chemistry, which means you might not always fall in love with the kind of person you imagined for yourself. [13] X Research source Marazziti, D. , Akiskal, H. S. , Rossi, A. , & Cassano, G. B. (1999). Alteration of the platelet serotonin transporter in romantic love. Psychological Medicine, 29(3), 741–745. This can also be true for building close friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage your self-discovery. Simply put, it will be much easier to accept your body and challenge any unrealistic ideals you might have if you’re surrounded by people that accept you and your discoveries. [14] X Research source
Instead of dismissing other peoples’ compliments or convincing yourself that they’re just being polite, take them at their word and trust that they are not just humoring you. Consider that others are giving you their honest assessments. Accept their positive words graciously.
This will help you begin to understand and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of yourself. You’ll realize that your body is just one part of your total package. [15] X Trustworthy Source National Eating Disorders Association Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders Go to source
Verbalize positive affirmations in front of the mirror: Say to yourself “You’re beautiful!”, “You’re amazing,” etc. when standing in front of the mirror. [17] X Research source This may feel forced, and you may not initially believe what you’re telling yourself, but experts tell us that this process—what they call cognitive behavior therapy—really does work over time.
It’s possible that you may need to gain or lose weight to be healthy, but you should also aim to achieve strength, flexibility, and endurance.
You’ll have better luck at success (both in terms of achieving your goals and learning to feel better about yourself) if you think of what you hope to accomplish or be able to do better.
If you are self-conscious working out in front of other people, consider taking private lessons, working out with a close friend, or working out at home. Be careful not to let your fear of being judged by other people dictate how you will lead your life.
Try out a wide variety of clothing styles and fits. If you feel confident and beautiful in a style that is considered to be “flattering for body-type X,” then by all means wear it, but do so because you like it, not because you think you’re supposed to wear it. [19] X Trustworthy Source National Eating Disorders Association Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders Go to source
Don’t forget to be patient and kind to yourself. Don’t treat or judge yourself any more harshly than you would your friend or anyone else. [20] X Research source
Are you unable to control negative thoughts about yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your perceived flaws? Does your unhappiness with your appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Do you dread going to work because you’re afraid of being seen and judged? Do you spend an excessive amount of time in front of the mirror each day and/or groom excessively? Are you unable to stop negatively comparing yourself to others? Do you avoid being photographed? Understand that if you struggle with any of these, you’ll most likely need help to accept your body. You may possibly have what is known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which typically requires professional help. If left untreated, BDD can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. [24] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Even if you are not diagnosed with BDD, know that there is no shame in seeking help and advice rather than struggling on your own.
The important thing here is simply finding support from others who are not going to judge your perceptions about yourself. They might even have some helpful tips to offer you.
When you think about the people you admire, love and/or respect the most, what qualities spring to mind? Do you value others or yourself only for the physical qualities or because of character and personality traits?[26] X Trustworthy Source National Eating Disorders Association Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders Go to source
