If they ask to go to lunch with you, tell them that you have other plans or invite others to go with you. If you are required to work in pairs on a project, try to select a partner as quickly as possible so that the person who likes you doesn’t pick you. Hang out in groups. Sometimes, you cannot avoid the person who likes you. Perhaps you work in a small office or go to a small school. In these cases, ensure that any time spent in proximity to the person who likes you is spent in the presence of others, as well.
For instance, if they greet you with a “good morning, beautiful” you can just say “good morning” to them very politely and keep walking to your destination.
Don’t laugh excessively at their jokes. Don’t be touchy feely. Avoid touching them unless absolutely necessary. Don’t compliment them unless related to work or school. Any other compliments could be misconstrued as flirting. For instance, you could tell them “great job on that project!” at work or school as opposed to complimenting their looks or intellect.
For instance, if they text you something like “what’s up?” you could respond by saying “I’m a bit busy right now, see you at work tomorrow!” Repeat back things the person says to you to show them that you’re at least listening. [2] X Expert Source Jennifer Guttman, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 26 July 2021.
Monitor your facial expressions. Don’t frown or smile too broadly when you see them. [3] X Expert Source Jennifer Guttman, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 26 July 2021. If you feel nervous, take a few deep breaths and sit down for a few moments.
If your friends are not around and you are alone with the person, you can text them and ask them to call you instead, therefore giving you an “exit” from the situation.
Don’t initiate contact with them unless necessary. If your mutual friends are going out and you know the person will be present, take a raincheck for a while. Over time, their feelings may dissipate.
If you are already friends, don’t delete or block them unless they are stalking you or commenting on every one of your posts. You can, however, restrict what they can see on some accounts. For instance, on Facebook in the sharing settings, you can choose who can or cannot see what you post.
You may begin the topic by saying something like “I get the feeling that, and please correct me if I’m wrong, that you may have a crush on me. I want to let you know, that while I am flattered, I am not interested in the same way. I hope that you understand. ” Be swift! If the person is making it clear that they like you, don’t let their feelings linger. Talk to them as soon as possible. [4] X Research source
For instance, many people make the mistake of using the excuse “I’m dating someone” to avoid unwanted contact from someone else. You should make it clear to the person that you are not interested, regardless of your relationship status. Don’t be dramatic. Though this person may like you, if they are reasonable, they will understand. Also, though you are certainly likeable, this is not the end of the world for them.
For instance, upon thinking back on your relationship, you may realize that you have been flirtatious in the past. You could say something like “I know that in the past I have flirted with you, and I want to apologize for that. Sometimes I can be flirtatious, but I realize that I must have given you the wrong idea and I am sorry. ”
For instance, rather than saying “You act strange to me” you can say something like “I just don’t have feelings for you in that way”. There is no need to make them feel bad about themselves.
You can say something like “even though I am not interested in being in a relationship, I think that we could move more towards a friendship with one another” and see how they respond. However, you must be prepared for them to potentially turn down your offer. Their feelings for you may be too strong to accept friendship. If they tell you this, thank them for their honesty and respect their wishes.
Don’t answer drunk texts or calls.
For instance, if they person calls you asking to reconsider, firmly remind them that you do not have feelings for them in that way. They need time to get over you, and giving them false hope won’t help either one of you.
If you feel badly about your decision, put yourself in their shoes. Would you want someone to be with you out of guilt or pity? Of course not! Continue to focus on yourself and
Not ignoring them does not mean that you have to linger, however. Keep your conversation to a minimum while still acknowledging their presence.
Take special focus on not badmouthing them to coworkers; this will cause even more issues for you if you work together.
