If you learn that you have something in common with her parents, don’t bring it up the second you meet them. Wait for a quiet moment in the conversation to say something like, “So, Mr. Smith, I hear you’re also a huge Cubs fan. “[1] X Research source Some families are really easy to connect with while others aren’t. Ultimately, treat the experience as though you’re getting to know a new person. [2] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
Make sure to groom yourself well too. [4] X Research source Take a shower, get a nice close shave, and run a comb through your hair. [5] X Research source
Maintain an open stance,[8] X Research source turning your body toward her parents, instead of away from them. This shows that you are eager to talk to them.
Try to read their tones if they decline any help. You’ll see whether they really mean it, or if they want you to help out.
Though you may tease each other in private, try to keep this to a minimum in front of her parents, at first, until they truly understand your dynamic. Otherwise, they may think that you don’t respect her.
Though you don’t want to be cold and distant toward her, not showing too much PDA is a sign of respect toward her parents.
Even the fact that you’re going out of your way to be nice to her parents will show them how much she means to you. If you act like you don’t really care what they think of you, then they’ll think you don’t really care about their daughter.
Though it’s old-fashioned to say that your girlfriend’s parents will want you to be a good provider for her, it’s fair to say that they want to see a guy who can at least take care of himself. If you talk about mooching off your parents, getting bad grades, or how much you like to booze it up with your bros, they will not be won over. Hey, if school or work isn’t really your thing, talk about something you really care about, like playing the guitar or collecting stamps. Just make it seem like you care about something.
When they ask you questions, don’t give them a yes or no or a two-word answer. Take the time to elaborate to show that you care. Even if your girlfriend’s parents ask a yes or no question, you can give them a deeper answer. If her father says, “So I hear you’re studying history,” don’t just say, “Yes, I am. . . " Instead, say, “I’m a history major with a focus in American studies. I’ve always been kind of a history buff. . . " Feel free to start a conversation with basic, get-to-know-you questions. [12] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021. Try to ask some fun questions, too! For instance, you might ask what your girlfriend was like as a little kid. [13] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
Remember that your girlfriend’s parents, no matter what age you are, want her to be dating a man, not a boy. They want her to be with someone who will be a good influence on her and who will encourage her to grow.
It’s also polite to know what to call her parents. This part is easy. Just call them whatever they call themselves when you are introduced. If her dad says, “Call me Jim,” then don’t be afraid to call him Jim; however, if he introduces himself as “Mr. Smith,” then you should call him that until he tells you to do otherwise.
If you feel that the conversation is getting uncomfortable because her parents don’t agree with your beliefs, try to delicately change the subject. You can say something like, “I may not go to church on Sunday, but I like watching baseball during the day. Mr. Jones, I hear you’re a big Giants fan?” Once you get to know your girlfriend’s parents, you can discuss these topics more. However, in the beginning, it’s better to stick to the safe topics, even if it’s a little boring.
A painting, souvenir, or piece of furniture in their home The food you’re eating (if they cooked it) Her mother’s earrings
Don’t be nervous about looking nervous! That will only make things worse. [22] X Research source At the end of the day, know that it’s no tragedy if you come off as a littler nervous. Your girlfriend’s parents once also had to go through the awkwardness of meeting the parents, and they’ll understand where you’re coming from.