Maintaining eye contact is a common way of showing that you are listening. [1] X Trustworthy Source US Department of State Official website of the U. S. Department of State Go to source Nodding, smiling, and exhibiting a relaxed posture also suggest that you are listening attentively. [2] X Research source

Common phrases of encouragement include “Mmm hmm,” “I see,” “Right,” and “Uh-huh. “[5] X Research source

If you don’t actually understand what you’ve just been told, you can also ask for clarification. This also sends the message that you are listening.

Offer a reason for ending the conversation, such as a task you need to resume or a person you need to find[7] X Research source If this is your first time talking to someone, you can also end a conversation with “It was nice meeting you. “[8] X Research source You can also tell the person that you really want to hear more about the topic of conversation and you’ll call them tomorrow. Then follow through on your promise so that they know that you care.

There are many reasons you might not be interested in listening. Sometimes you just aren’t in the mood, and that’s fine. Other circumstances, however, call for different responses. You might not understand the topic well. Or, you might not feel like your views are being heard. You may just have no interest in the topic. It could just be that the person talking thinks they know best and only wants to hear their own perspective. Everyone finds themselves in the position of disinterested listener occasionally. However, constantly playing the role of an active listener isn’t fulfilling and doesn’t lay the groundwork for good conversations or satisfying relationships. [9] X Research source

Often, people who know a great deal about a topic will discuss it at a level of detail or specificity that is hard for others to understand. If you want to keep the conversation going, ask them to explain in simpler terms. [10] X Research source For example, you may have a friend who is chemist. You may find science to be generally interesting, but every time it comes up, your friend starts using terms you don’t understand or discussing the details of their experiments. You might find some common ground if you can convince your friend to talk in more general, accessible terms.

Inserting your own views or feelings often improves conversation. [11] X Research source As long as you aren’t interrupting, sharing your thoughts on a topic can also show that you are really listening. [12] X Research source

Look for a chance to use something the other person has said as a “bridge” to a new topic. [13] X Research source For example, if someone is talking to you about music, but you are much more interested in movies, you might look for an opportunity to bring up a famous film soundtrack as a means of shifting the topic.

For example, if someone you know only talks about themselves and never wants to listen to others, that person may be a narcissist. People like these can be very difficult to have conversations (or relationships) with. [14] X Research source If the relationship is important to you, it may be worth talking to the other person about why you have a hard time conversing with them. If you and the other party care about each other, it may be possible to change the relationship in such a way that you want to listen and the other person wants to listen to you. Understanding the problem is the first step toward improving the relationship. [15] X Research source If the relationship isn’t important, it may just be that this is not someone you want to have conversations with. In such a case, it might be better to avoid contact rather than routinely having to pretend you are interested. While this can be hurtful, sometimes its for the best. [16] X Research source

Cooking someone a meal, or buying one at a restaurant. [18] X Research source Giving a gift (even a very small one). Making or buying them a card, even if there’s no special occasion to buy a card for. Doing a chore like taking out the trash or washing their car, especially if it’s a chore you know she or he particularly dislikes. Giving a hug. [19] X Research source Think creatively! There are lots of ways to show you care. Remember that for many people, surprises are especially nice.

Doing something nice for someone may not communicate caring if you do it just to appease or placate him or her. When you interact with others, be aware of your emotions and make sure the things you say and do come from a genuinely caring place.

For example, you might enjoy being gently teased by someone you care about. Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend has a pet name for you like “goon” or “doofus” that makes you both laugh. Keep in mind that some people find any kind of teasing hurtful. Maybe there’s a movie that really cheers you up that you watch with a close friend when you feel sad. That may work well for you, but showing up to your brother’s house with a copy of the film after he’s lost his job may seem weird or insensitive to him, rather than an act of caring.

This is especially important when it comes to promises. For example, imagine you’ve told someone you will keep a very personal secret. It’s very important that you don’t tell anyone the private information, even if it seems harmless at the time. [22] X Research source For more everyday commitments, like agreeing to pick up a gallon of milk or make some photocopies, try to remember to do these things without being reminded. This shows you are thinking about the other person.

If a friend is having a life crisis, don’t be afraid to tell him or her you care and are concerned. Check in regularly, offer support, and help him or her find professional help if necessary. [24] X Research source