When talking to anyone about someone else in town, ask yourself if you are about to say something you would be okay saying directly to the subject. If it’s judgmental or private, try to keep it to yourself. If the conversation shifts into gossip, try to move it to something else without being rude. Offer up some good news, or ask some questions of the people you’re speaking with. Keeping the conversation focused on the people present in it can be helpful for avoiding gossip.
Try social networks as a way to find people with common interests in your new town. Don’t lose hope if you don’t find a new best friend immediately; relationships might take a little bit longer to forge in a smaller town where everyone knows everyone else. You may have to work a bit harder to be let in and trusted. [1] X Research source
If you’re used to noisy, crowded clubs and a vibrant nightlife in the big city, you may have to adjust to more low-key, laid back evenings when you move to a small town. Try finding new things to do on weekend nights rather than being upset that you can’t keep doing what you’re used to.
Though small town gossip and cliques are still prevalent, the new generation has taken to voicing their negative opinions and gossip on internet forums. Rather than buying into what anonymous citizens have posted, get to know people and places for yourself. [3] X Research source
You may have to take the initiative to make things happen a bit more in a small town. If you want something fun to do, or to get together with new friends, be the first one to make the phone call or to organize an event.
In small towns, people are usually very tightly knit, and it might seem difficult to wedge yourself into existing relationships and cliques. But, by going out of your way to make the first move and give your new neighbors a good impression, you might find that people are more receptive to including you. [5] X Research source Make sure you come off as approachable. Try going for walks in the neighborhood, and avoid talking on the phone, texting, or keeping your earbuds in as you go about your business. If you look open to talking, more people might be prone to say hello or start a conversation. [6] X Research source Don’t feel obligated to bring your new neighbors a gift when you go to introduce yourself. Instead, just use your move as a way to start the conversation. You could go next door and apologize for any noise or inconvenience your move-in may have caused, and then use that as a way to ask them questions and get to know them a little better. They’ll appreciate your consideration. [7] X Research source
For example, rather than missing the hustle and bustle that used to come with your morning commute, take a moment to appreciate how much easier and relaxed your new small-town commute is. [8] X Research source Avoid thinking in terms of what is missing. Instead, think in terms of what is new and present. If you miss the view of a city skyline, maybe you can instead appreciate the view of hills and mountains, or whatever type of landscape your new small town offers.
Use the city as your design inspiration in your new home. Think about the things you liked most about the big city, or the things that first come to mind when you think of it—traffic, noise, bright lights and colors. Bring these elements into your home with decoration, artwork, and accents. [9] X Research source Look in thrift stores and antique shops for old road signs or traffic lights to use as decorations. Hang a photo or painting of a city skyline on a wall in your house. Use photos of your old home to create a photo collage of memories to look at when you miss the city.
Living outside of a big city allows you to get closer to nature. If you’re a parent, you will be able to raise your kids to enjoy nature and wildlife, rather than have them glued to electronics or immersed in advertisements and overwhelming stimulation. Use your new location as a way to find new hobbies and things to do. Whether you’re single, married, have kids, or don’t have kids, there will be new opportunities for you to try new things that you may not have been able to experience while living in the city.
You can also take a walk around the neighborhood rather than driving. In small towns, things might not be as close together as they are in a big city, but taking a walk can be a relaxing way to see what’s close to your house. If you have children, look for local playgrounds, the library, and the schools. Life for a child in a smaller town can be especially rewarding, since it usually has a lot more space for outdoor play than you might find in an urban setting.
In smaller towns, you might find that people are less prone to just stare at the ground and ignore everyone as they go about their day. People might be more trusting and open, and will want to interact with you more than strangers in a big city might. Crime is sometimes lower in smaller towns, due to the close-knit nature of many small towns. There is less of a sense of anonymity. People might even leave their doors unlocked. It might even feel like everyone seems to know each other.
The locals will be your best source of information on the town. They live there, and they know what spots are great. Try patronizing local establishments like farmers markets, restaurants, and shops. [10] X Research source Small towns are often full of independently owned shops and restaurants. Rather than sticking to familiar franchises, branch out and try something new. [11] X Research source
Just like you learned your habits and behaviors in your previous city, you can learn the same things the same way in a small town. A key to avoiding that initial anxiety is to recognize that other people aren’t as concerned about your behavior as you are. Relax and observe others, and respond accordingly. [12] X Research source
If you are a parent, join the parent teacher organization at your child’s school. You will meet other parents and immediately have something in common. You can also engage your kids in team sports or extracurricular activities to help them meet more people. This can help your children (and you!) adjust a bit more smoothly. [13] X Research source Sign up to volunteer. People in small towns often have values that center around community involvement and family. Volunteering at a food drive, soup kitchen, or event can connect you with other people while also showing the people in your new town that you share their values.
Not only will you meet other people in your town at these events, you will also have a chance to hear what is important to them in regards to the way the town functions and what happens within it.
People in small towns often care about different things than people in larger cities. Reading the paper will give you an idea of what people in your town care about, and it will offer some talking points you could bring up when meeting new people in the town. [15] X Research source
